Today, someone in the practice came in talking to me about a recent betrayal they had experienced in their relationship. The ground had cracked beneath her and she felt so physically and emotionally horrible. She was confused about why she felt physically ill when it was an emotional issue. I explained with an analogy.
I hate mice. They give me the “wicked” heebie jeebies. (I am from Boston-give me a break!). Anyway, if a mouse were to cross my path, my physiology would change. My heart would beat faster. My breathing would become more shallow. My muscles would tighten. My pupils might dilate. My nervous system might kick into “fight or flight” or sympathetic mode which suppresses the immune system. A cascade of biochemistry would create a domino effect of physiological change all as a result of one nasty creepy little rodent.
As you go through life’s mental and emotional “personal growth opportunities,” know that your body is often deeply affected. Care for your body by making sure your nerve system isn’t having “fuses blown” or getting “glitched” by all the raucus. It can also help you to deal with all of it with more flexibility and ease.
To my dear heartbroken friend, know the importance of grief. Here are the words of the Sufi poet Hafiz:
“The heart is right to cry,When even the smallest drop of light, of love Is taken away.”